Hammerbarn
It seemed like the perfect idea. We needed paint and the kids were on the verge of starting a riot after getting up at 4.30am.
There are times when you think you are the smartest parent around. In one of the most obvious marketing moves ever, Bunnings in Cannington had rebranded as the Bluey Bunnings-clone Hammerbarn. The biggest question is why it took Bunnings took so long. Certainly no one could fault them for making such a cynical move.
The stature of Bluey is without question. The most downloaded show in iView history. One of the biggest Australian pop culture exports. The fact that Disney made a play for the international rights speaks volumes.
Kids love the show. Parents love the show. Sometimes the parents love it more than kids. Ink gets spilled regularly on the cultural impact of the show, on how Bandit presents a model for the modern father, how the style of play featured in the show leads to better development outcomes.
Given the episode “Hammerbarn” featuring a hardware store that is very much Bunnings with the serial numbers filed off, it was just a matter of time before Bunnigs capitalised on the popularity of the show.
Our first inkling that we may have made a mistake was the line for the sausage sizzle. Make-a-Wish was running the sizzle and were cleaning up. The line looked like it was about 20 minutes long (at a certain point you starting counting lines in minutes not people).
Inside was packed with people. Every aisle awash with people trying to get through, minimal people actually looking like they were shopping.
Eventually we found where they were all going.
Kids could get a photo with Bluey and Bingo.
Everything was a line. The line to get a photo taken looked like it was most of an hour. The Sunday morning DIY kids activity table, usually manned by one bored staff member, needed a full team and had a sign up sheet. Lines for popcorn and fairy floss stretched for 30 minutes or more.
My eldest started melting down because we couldn’t line up for the photo. We were on a clock. I needed to actually buy paint without waiting in line for most of the day.
Seemed like pretty much all of the parents in Perth had the same idea as us. We saw half of the school parents and most of the kids.
Someone brought a blue heeler to have a photo with Bluey and Bingo because some people always need to put a hat on a hat.
The familiar sounds of parents starting to lose it with their children filled the air. The sort of sound that always makes you reflect on your own parenting.
I’m pretty sure I saw someone punch a baby.
The old fellers shopping for supplies for their latest DIY project clearly couldn’t understand what was happening around them. There was a look of fear in their eyes you don’t expect on a Sunday morning at Bunnings. Er, Hammerbarn.
It was the last days of Rome and it was situated in a warehouse in Cannington.
My kids were loving it.
Pushing my way through the crowd I finally made it to the checkout. I expected I’d need at least 2 hours to get through and pay for the paint.
Instead, to my surprise, the checkout was emptier than normal at this time on a Sunday. I didn’t even have to line up.
Which makes one wonder, for all the naked cynical capitalistic ambition of this marketing play from Bunnings, will they actually see the spike in sales they would be expecting?
Or will those sales go to the other Bunnings locations around Perth that weren’t graced with the rebrand? Will those in the know that need supplies and don’t have kids avoid the Cannington Bunnings like the plague? Will Carousel actually be the big winner in all of this by picking up indirect sales from people that needed to use their carpark instead of the chaos of the Hammerbarn carpark?